


Family Game Night

by Hyaluronic



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crack totally not treated seriously, Family Bonding, Family Game Night, M/M, Monopoly (Board Game), Nile knew what she was doing by suggesting family game night, a story told in snippets, prove me wrong!, the thimble is a cursed token
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26741041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyaluronic/pseuds/Hyaluronic
Summary: After a mission goes wrong and Nile was seriously injured Andy let's her pick what the group does next as they do after anyone of them is injured or killed on a mission. Andy suspects they'll head to Paris so Nile can visit the Louvre and chat excitedly with Joe over the art there, what she doesn't expect though is for Nile to be standing in the kitchen talking about playing a board game and bonding.Kids these days.The group plays Monopoly and tries not to kill one another.
Relationships: Andromache of Scythia & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova & Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 26
Kudos: 238





	Family Game Night

**Author's Note:**

> ANYone and I mean most ANYone born in the 80’s early 90’s before cell phones, before the internet was a mass commodity, most likely had a family game night. And on those game nights you bet your bottom dollar Monopoly was played a few times and when you saw that game come out you already knew how the night was going to end - in threats of familial violence and possible fisticuffs. Family Game Night was serious business y’all… I SEE YOU HOARDING MONEY UNDER YOUR LEG BRANDON! NO ONE WANTS TO BE THE BANKER UNLESS THEY’RE EMBEZZLING, YOU ASS!!!!

**Monopoly:**

“You said I could pick anything…” 

Andy looked over the rim of her wine glass, brow furrowed at the sight of Nile standing in the doorway hand on her cocked hip with a board game under her other arm. Andy swallowed her mouthful of wine before explaining, “Usually we mean you get to pick the next country we go to.” 

“I have whole lifetimes to go to other countries- apparently.” Nile supplied, making her way forward to plop the board game onto the heavy wooden table. “What I want to do is spend time with you guys and get to know you better, you know - _bond_?” 

Andy cleared her throat, weary eyes falling to look at the seemingly innocent box with pursed lips. “And this Monopoly is supposed to help with that? Bonding?” 

Nile put her hands on her hips with a sigh, “Monopoly brings out people’s true colors. It’s a game that has been known to end relationships and forge bonds better than those of war.” 

Nile reached for the box, eyes challenging as her hands hovered over the game. “But if you think you can’t handle it…” 

Andy shook her head with a sly smile, “Oh, you sweet summer child, bring it on.” 

**Picking of the game pieces:**

Nile shook the brown paper bag a few times before setting the innocuous looking bag down. “Alright, everyone say your prayers to the gaming Gods and may the _odds be ever in your favor._ ” 

“I feel as though we are about to go to battle.” Joe commented, rubbing a hand over his beard and leaning back in his chair watching as Nile reached into the bag rustling the sack and pulling out the Racecar token. 

“Well, better than the Thimble I guess.” Nile said with a sigh and placed her piece on the Go square and looked towards Andy expectantly. 

Andy shoved her hand into the bag feeling around for a few seconds before pulling out the Battleship and followed Nile’s example of setting it on Go. “What’s wrong with the Thimble?” 

Nile grinned, leaning forward in a dramatic fashion, “Legend has it the piece is cursed.” 

“Cursed?” Nicky asked incredulously, now side eyeing the paper bag at the center of the dining room table in trepidation. 

“Cursed!” Nile exclaimed falling back against her chair with a dramatic sigh, her forearm draped across her forehead, “Whoever is unlucky enough to pick the Thimble is doomed to pay hefty fines and never land on Boardwalk or Park Place but shall only ever feel the shame of buying purple and always landing on stacked oranges.” 

“Sounds horrific, if no one picks it we should place it in a seat of honor in Bookers memory.” Joe quipped reaching his hand into the brown bag and pulling out said cursed token. “Sonouva…” 

“Don’t worry Hayati, I will protect you from the curse.” Nicky teased reaching into the bag and pulling out the Iron token with a blink. 

Andy laughed, “Go figure Joe gets the thimble to mend the clothes and you get the iron to straighten them.” 

Nicky picked up a piece of popcorn from the bowl beside him and threw it at Andy with a _hmmph_. 

**Being a Jailbird makes for great laughs:**

“How!?” Joe shouted indignantly, hands on his hips as he stood towering over the board game. “This is the fourth time I have landed in board game jail! I have yet to even make it around the board even once let alone collect my $200 stipend!” 

“The curse.” Nile whispered before she popped a chip into her mouth, waving her fingers at Joe as Nicky covered his laugh with a cough. 

“Nico!” Joe reprimanded turning towards his husband, “It’s not funny, Habibi.” 

“It is a little funny, dearest.” Nicky replied, reaching out to grasp Joe’s hand. 

“I’ll sell you my Get Out of Jail Free Card for $200, Joe.” Andy offered fanning herself with the tiny card. 

Joe made a strangled noise of frustration as he looked at his money and quietly handed over $200 for the card. Sitting down dejectedly as he handed the card over to Nile to allow himself to go free from jail. 

**House Rules:**

It took almost a whole hour before the first true fight broke out, Nile would admit she was surprised since the last time she played this game with her mom and brother the fighting started almost ten minutes in and over the auctioning of St. James Place of all things. But, now the fight was between Joe and Andy over what exactly the Free Parking square meant. She had to laugh because Joe was waving the rule book around and exclaiming something in that mixed mingled language they all seemed to understand but she had yet to pick up while Andy just sat there, arms crossed, rolling her eyes. 

“It says clearly, _nothing_ is to happen on this square- _Nile_!” Nile blinked as Joe rounded on her, eyes pleading, “Tell her she must follow the rule book!” 

Nicky shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth, happily watching the exchange before turning to Nile too at Joe’s exclamation. 

“Actually,” Nile started tentatively, hands out placatingly towards Joe, “House Rules state that whoever lands on Free Parking gets the funds that everyone has had to pay. It’s one of the rules everyone just _knows._ ” 

“House Rules.” Joe grumbled while he threw the rule book onto the table, saying something too fast in Arabic to understand but had Nicky laughing to the point of snorting beside her. 

Andy grinned and reached leisurely to the center of the table and picked up her money. “House Rules, Thimble man.” 

“This game is ridiculous.” Joe murmured reaching for the dice. 

“This game is glorious.” Andy happily stated, thumbing through her earnings. 

**Buying Property:**

“Do you want to buy it?” Nile questioned nibbling on a twizzler. It was going on their second hour of playing and so far Andy had reigned supreme owning Illinois Ave as well as the trifecta of New York Avenue, Tennessee Ave, and St. James Place as well as owning 3/4ths of the railroads, said woman was currently on Oriental Avenue debating whether or not to purchase the property. 

Andy licked her lips and tapped her chin in thought. “I mean, on the one hand I don’t _need_ it-” 

“You don’t even own Connecticut or Vermont.” Nicky tried to reason, “You would not be able to build anything, no one has even landed on it till now, it would be a fruitless venture.” 

Andy bit her thumbnail mulling it over, “On the other hand, I really love the idea of screwing Nicky out of his ability to build houses.” 

“A good strategy.” Nile praised twirling her twizzler. 

“Andy! Play fair!” Nicky admonished. 

“I’ll buy it.” Andy finally decided, handing over the fake hundred dollar bill to Nile in return for the deed to her property. 

“But you can’t build on it!” Nicky tried to reason, staring flabbergasted as Andy just shrugged. 

“Neither can you. Seems like a win to me.” 

“Oh, you just wait Andromache.” Nicky threatened a dark look in his eye. 

Nile grinned and took another bite of her twizzler and secretly snuck the hundred Andy had given her under her thigh. 

**Thimble Man starts his reign:**

“Seriously?” Joe whispered in awe staring in amazement at having landed on Boardwalk. 

“Yep, you buying, Joe?” Nile asked, “Just a warning very few people ever get the chance to own Boardwalk and Park Place, but hey, up to you.” 

“Yes, I would like to purchase the Boardwalk.” 

**When Players Cheat:**

“You moved seven spaces, not six, _little sister_.” 

Nile shook her head and reached over to count from her previous spot tapping her finger against each property as she counted landing on Water Works instead of Ventnor Avenue which was owned by Nicky, “See six.” 

“Seven.” Nicky countered counting the same spaces and ending on Venture Avenue which he had two houses on. 

“Six~!” Nile sing-songed, tapping her piece against Water Works. 

“You are counting the square you started on.” Nicky explained, putting his finger on the chance square and counting once more and showing she should have landed on his property. 

“Nicky, big brother dear you don’t argue with the banker.” Nile said sweetly. 

“But you landed on Ventnor Avenue, you owe me $330.” 

“Oh, Nicky, no.” Nile said with a click of the tongue before getting up and walking away towards the fridge to grab a soda. 

“But…” Nicky turned towards Joe confused, “Joe?” 

Joe just shook his head as Andy guffawed in the background praising Nile for her complete deferral and total little sibling move of just walking away and ignoring the problem till Joe and Nicky gave in. 

**Thimble Man’s reign gets real:**

“No shitting way.” Nile whispered astounded, staring at Joe’s little Thimble sitting innocently on the Park Place square. 

“I will buy it!” Joe shouted as he quickly slammed the money down in front of Nile and held his hand out for the deed to his new property. 

Nile handed the deed over and quickly slipped another hundred under her thigh. 

**Alliances are formed in the heat of battle:**

“Stop bailing each other out!” Andy shouted at Joe and Nicky slamming her open palm on the table top. “Nicky stop selling Joe all your properties for cheap!” 

“But how else will he amass his empire?” Nicky honestly asked, eyes wide and innocent as he brought Joe’s knuckles to his lips and sweetly kissed them. 

Joe smirked, “There is nothing in the rulebook that says me and Nicolo cannot work together to crush the rest of you.” 

“You can’t write each other I.O.U’s!” Nile complained, waving her arms frantically. 

“But the rulebook doesn’t say that I can’t not.” Joe stated matter of fact, grinning when Nicky handed him a $100 with a smile. 

“Stop giving away your money, Nicky! You’re not Joe’s Sugar Daddy!” Andy reprimanded. 

“But, Joe wants a new hotel on Park Place…” 

“Aaaarrrgghh!!!” 

**Quitting is not an option!:**

It was roughly six hours into the game with the tide turning from Andy’s reign of power to the Thimble lording over the board game thanks to the ironclad alliance of Nicky and Joe, when Andy finally cracked. 

“I QUIT!” Andy hollered shoving back against her chair and heading towards the hallway. 

“Oh the hell you do!” Nile growled, pushing her own chair back and stamping her foot. “This is Monopoly no one leaves until the game ends or someone dies.” 

“Don’t tempt me you heathen!” Andy retorted from the hall. 

“The great Andromache, defeated by a child’s game?” Joe questioned loudly with a slight smirk. 

There was a moment of silence before Andy stomped her way back to her seat and grabbed the dice and rolled them aggressively. 

**The Banker is an embezzler and the game just. wont. end:**

Hour seven ticked by quickly and Joe was proving that the Thimble curse was a bunch of bull as he was currently having his revenge when Nile rolled a five and ended up on his most prized property. 

“Ugggh…” Nile groaned as she placed her Racecar on Boardwalk which Joe had bought a hotel for well over an hour ago. “Fuuuuuuck.” 

Joe grinned and rubbed his hands together, “I do believe that’s $2000, yes? Of which you don’t have, correct? So you’re out?” 

“Joe, my newest coolest dearest big brother, I have that and more.” Nile said, quickly whipping out her secret stash of money from under her thigh. 

Nicky and Andy sputtered and stared at the stack of cash. “You cheated!?” Nicky questioned at the same time Andy commented, “You little thief!” with a proud mama smile. 

“The bank never loses, guys.” Nile said as she counted out two grand and held it out to Joe with a wink. 

“You-but.This game...how.” Joe sighed, “I hate this game.” 

**Monopoly only ends when someone finally breaks:**

“You can’t do that!” Andy shouted as she reached over Joe’s hands towards something on the board before Nicky smacked her hand away. 

“Nothing says he can't, Andy!” Nicky retorted. 

Andy growled and flipped the board game over with an angry yell and took off towards the living room shouting something in lord only knew what language over her shoulder before the front door slammed closed. 

Nile sat back in her chair sipping on her soda trying her hardest to bite back a grin. 

“Nile, _little sister_ , I do apologize we ruined your game.” Nicky said regretfully as he leaned forward to pick up scattered money and board pieces. 

“Guys,” Nile started with a laugh, “It’s Monopoly as long as no one was physically harmed and nothing was lit on fire it’s considered a good game!” 

Joe looked at her in surprise before shaking his head and walking away with a mutter of something that had Nicky snickering. 

“Next time we should play Scrabble!” Nile called after him with a grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this cracked one shot!


End file.
